What forgiveness is not

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The Gospel lesson for Sunday is about forgiveness. Peter asks Jesus how many times he must forgive a person, "As many as seven times?" Jesus says, "I tell you, seventy seven times."

A book on forgiveness that has been very helpful for me is Forgive and Live by Una Kroll. She makes a number of helpful points, including these:

• Forgiveness is not automatic. We're not called to automatically forgive someone the hurt they've done us. It requires thought and intention.
• Forgiveness is not immediate. Regardless of how we might want to forgive immediately, it takes time to work through the process of forgiveness - even "seventy seven times."
• Forgiveness is not forgetting. Una Kroll's definition of forgiveness is "to offer a fresh start". This is helpful because it acknowledges the hurt but moves past it.
• Anger can be helpful in the process of forgiveness. When appropriately expressed, anger can be a means to justice and it can bring a cleansing of the soul.
• Reconciliation happens when both the offending person and the injured person offer forgiveness to the other. We can't always achieve reconciliation. All we can do is forgive.

Forgiveness is an enormous issue for many people, and practical, useful teaching on forgiveness is much needed. Una Kroll's book is very helpful.
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