At a time of death

This week I've been privileged to be with a family at the time of death of a man who was a husband, father, and grandfather. Being with a family in times like these is difficult because of the loss and grief, but I find it to be a very rewarding ministry.

I've visited this grand old man many times over the past couple of years in the Alzheimer's unit of a local care facility, although some of my visits have consisted of only a few words and a prayer. At times he was quite alert and humorous; other times he was fast asleep.

I visited him last Thursday and it was clear he was failing. By Tuesday his wife and daughters had gathered around for his last hours. I spent about an hour with them, listening as carefully as I could and helping them to say goodbye. Each of them spent some time with him quietly speaking to him. I said a prayer giving thanks for his life and offering him into the hands of God.

He died late that night and the next day I arrived to find the family gathered around the body. I helped them process their feelings and be present to each other and support each other, and concluded with a prayer.

This is a gracious and supportive family, and it was lovely to be with them. At times like these, a pastor is drawn into the intimate circle of a family and shares in their emotions. It's a rich ministry for me, and I'm grateful to be an Episcopal priest in times like these.