A funeral, a class, a worship service, and a Cursillo

The room where a Cursillo talk is being given (the speaker is in a wheelchair facing the people)

Last week was a whirlwind for me, so I had only one post on this blog. Much of the week was spent preparing for a funeral on Thursday. In addition, we started our weekly Wednesday night program in which I celebrated the Eucharist and taught a class. Then on Thursday evening I went to Emmanuel Episcopal Church in Mercer Island for a three-day Cursillo experience.

Cursillo is a "short course" on Christianity in which participants are taught about the essentials of the Christian faith in an intense weekend and bombarded with love. Cursillo is an international program that's been around since 1949. Fourteen men were participants and about 25 men were on the support team.

Cursillo is a lay-led program. Almost all the talks on the weekend are given by lay people, and the clergy are there only to give a few talks, lend support, and celebrate the Eucharist. The Diocese of Olympia has a strong Cursillo community and this weekend there were men from churches all over the Diocese.

The sketch above is a rendering of the room where the talks were given. I was impressed by the quality of men that participated. There was a doctor, two veterinarians, a top Boeing engineer, a CPA, and lots of men in high-tech businesses. The leaders of the event did a very impressive job of planning and coordinating.

Cursillo creates a supportive environment where people in small groups can share their life of faith. Invariably people open up and find their lives transformed as they experience the love of God and the support of their friends. We saw that happening this weekend when the men gave their talks at the closing Eucharist.

The weekend was packed with activity and quite intense. I was very happy to have a day off yesterday to recuperate.
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Kairos: Prison ministry

Yesterday I went to the closing ceremony for a Kairos weekend at the CWWF womens' prison near Gig Harbor. Kairos is a prison ministry patterned after the renewal movement Cursillo.

The closing ceremony was the final event in a three-day weekend during which Kairos volunteers brought their program into the womens' prison. The volunteers come from a wide variety of churches in this area.

We drove to the womens' prison after church on Sunday and parked the car. We left everything in the car except for two forms of ID and the car keys. When we entered the facility, they signed us in and took our keys and ID and issued us a visitor's badge. I'll have to admit it felt spooky to have all my ID and keys taken away. There's something about a prison that strips you down to the essentials.

After all the visitors, probably fifty of us, had assembled in a waiting room, we were ushered into the prison. First we went through a security system like the ones you find in an airport, then we were taken as a group through a series of locked fences with concertina wire on the top. Stern guards accompanied us. They take their jobs very seriously.

When we came to the chapel, we sat for twenty minutes or so waiting for the Kairos participants. When they came in, we stood and clapped and cheered for these women. Dressed in jeans and sweatshirts, they carried themselves with diffidence, solemnity, and in some cases, a shy smile.

The Kairos volunteers had spent the three days with these women helping them work through their pain, anger, and helplessness, offering them the knowledge that God forgives and loves them. From the handmade posters on the walls, I could see the words "not alone" on many of them.

The women got up in their small groups (called families) and talked about their experiences. It was very touching to hear them. A number of them said how broken they felt at the beginning of the weekend, and how they'd learned to forgive. Many of them mentioned the ceremony the night before in which they'd made a list of the people who had hurt them and then burned the list as an act of forgiveness.

I looked at the volunteers and saw good hearted people who willingly gave their time and their hearts to these incarcerated women. They brought healing, strength, and hope to them. I'm sure this weekend was a transformative weekend for many of these imprisoned women.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they gave me back my car keys and we drove away, free to go home to our blessedly normal lives.
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To die and be with Christ

One of the parishioners at St. Antony's is approaching death from a long illness. He's receiving comfort care in a local nursing home and is no longer responsive to voices. He's at peace, but for his family, it's a very difficult time.

The Epistle for Sunday has some words of hope. Paul, near the end of his life, is writing from prison. He writes that he is torn between living and dying. He wants to die, he says, because then he would be with Christ. But he also feels a need to stay alive to help the Philippians with their new faith.

"I am hard pressed between the two," he writes. "My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better; but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you."

Paul is not afraid of death; in fact he's looking forward to it as the consummation and victory of his life. "Dying is gain," he says.

I hope we'll all be able to embrace such a view when we're near death. When we have a deep and abiding faith, death, when it comes, is much more grace-filled and beautiful. We have a lot to learn from Paul in this matter.
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Called to be faithful, not successful

The Gospel lesson for Sunday is the parable of the unjust landowner. The landowner hires workers for his vineyard at different times of the day, but he pays them all the same wage no matter how many hours they worked. Those who worked all day and bore "the burden of the day and the scorching heat" are jealous of those who worked only a few hours in the evening and got paid the same amount.

This passage is one of a series that follows the disciples' question to Jesus, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" (Matthew 18:1) Jesus is trying to tell the disciples that favoritism or elitism has no part in God's working. God will be God, and we're called to be faithful without the expectation that we're going to be rewarded or given a special place for our faithfulness.

In other words, we're called to be faithful, not to be successful.

We live in a culture that rewards success with money, privilege, and esteem. It's not surprising that many preachers today preach a "success Gospel", namely that being a good Christian will make you prosperous and wealthy.

But that is exactly contrary to what Jesus says in this parable. As workers in God's vineyard (the world) we're called to work for God's purposes. Maybe we'll be rewarded for that; maybe not. God's ways are not always our ways.

This doesn't mean we should give anything less than our best effort. We strive for success, but we don't expect that success will somehow get us into heaven alone.

The opposite is also true. When we experience failure and defeat, we know that we're not going to be judged for that. As long as we're faithful to our calling, we can be at peace.
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Angry at God

My image of Jonah

In the Old Testament Lesson for Sunday, Jonah is angry with God. He's angry because God did not destroy the sinful city of Nineveh. Jonah is fuming because God called him all the way from his home to come preach to the people of Nineveh and now he doesn't even get to see them punished for their wicked ways. Instead, God has forgiven them because they repented.

God says to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry?" And he replies, "Yes, angry enough to die."

Jonah is angry because of what he perceives as the injustice of God. The Ninevites should have been punished! Why weren't they receiving the penalty for their sin?

I wonder if any of us can identify with Jonah. Maybe we haven't been angry with God as such, but we've been angry at perceived injustice. When life isn't fair, or when we feel misused, we get angry.

I think it's notable that God doesn't say Jonah's anger is wrong. He simply points out the objects of his compassion. "Look at these people, a hundred twenty thousand...and also many animals." The compassion of God is bigger than Jonah can envision.

Perhaps our anger can be mitigated sometimes in a similar way. We can look at things from God's perspective and not our own.

My Stay-cation

This week I'm on "staycation". That's the new word for taking a vacation without traveling. I'm taking the week off because my son Chad is here and I want to spend some time with him. Next week he'll begin his senior year at the University of Oregon.

Taking time off is part of personal self-care that everyone should be aware of. Our culture is so intent on being productive 100% of the time that we forget to tend to our self-care. Jesus' example of going off by himself to pray is a good reminder that we need time away from the demands of our work.

The photo above is me next to my "dream boat". This boat is a fiberglass copy of a design named "Rozinante" by L. Francis Herreshoff, the genius boat designer (1890-1972). I've always wanted to build a wooden Rozinante just as Herreshoff designed it. When I saw this boat in a marina at Port Townsend, I just had to have my photo taken next to it!

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Celebration of New Ministry

Greg Rickel, Bishop of Olympia, and me

On Saturday, Bishop Rickel came to St. Antony's for our Celebration of New Ministry. The purpose of this liturgy is to celebrate our new beginning together as priest and people.

It was a glorious day, very positive and upbeat. We had beautiful flowers and a very generous reception, and I think everyone enjoyed the day. Greg Rickel is a very affirming guy with a great sense of humor and a delightful southern drawl.

The bishop told us a secret. He said that every priest as his ordination is secretly handed a crystal ball when all the clergy gather to lay hands on him or her. This crystal ball allows the priest to know when anyone is in the hospital, when anyone is upset with him or her, and it also allows the priest's family not to mind of the priest is called away from home at inopportune times.

He said that unfortunately my crystal ball had been broken during the move, so everyone would now have to actually inform me when they are sick or in the hospital or when they are upset with me.

We had a symbolic exchange of gifts, and the bishop pointed out that it was significant that the gifts were not all given to me, but the gifts were mutually exchanged, as a way of showing that we are all doing ministry together, priest and people together. A good message for us all.
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High School football game

Last night I went to a high school football game to watch Chad Reeder play. Chad is a member of our church, a head acolyte, and a talented and graceful young man. He plays linebacker and tight end on the Klahowya High School team. I sat with his family while we cheered him and his team to victory. They won, 34-20!

A high school football game has tremendous youthful energy. I love feeling the excitement of the game, seeing the crowds of young people, watching the band and the cheerleaders, and standing up to yell when we make a touchdown.

High school football is an American ritual. It's a celebration of everything in our culture that is strong, powerful, and focused on winning. We love football because it's the epitome of our competitive urges. It's a good thing for young people to experience.
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Post Traumatic Stress Injury

My sketch of Dr. Jonathan Shay

Wednesday I went to Fort Lewis to hear Dr. Jonathan Shay, a psychiatrist, talk about post traumatic stress disorder. He said that combat environment is so stressful that soldiers block out everything except for hypervigilance toward danger. Later, when they return to civilian life, they're unable to stop being hypervigilant.

Dr. Shay dislikes calling it a "disorder", as if it were a disease or somehow implies the soldier was unfit. He emphasizes that post-traumatic stress is an injury, and should be treated just like we treat a shrapnel wound, as an honorable sacrifice.

He suggested three factors in reducing post traumatic stress: good unit cohesion, trustworthy leadership and good training. He suggested that the army keep soldiers together before, during and after combat because soldiers draw safety and trust from each others presence.

He said that trusted leaders make soldiers feel safer. When a leader does something to betray the unit or its values, tremendous damage is done. And good training to make the unit efficient is important.

Surprisingly, he also mentioned sleep deprivation as one of the greatest negative factors in post traumatic stress. He cited studies that show that good sleep is the one thing that does the most good.

His advice to chaplains: the most importance thing is to be present for soldiers. He mentioned Woody Allen's Law: "Showing up is 90% of the job."

Remembering 9/11

Seven years ago today we heard the news of the fall of the World Trade Center towers and the attacks on the Pentagon. That day changed our perception of the world, and continues to shape us.

We remember the feeling of terror and helplessness that sunk into our hearts
We remember being thrown into confusion and uncertainty.
We remember the air of unreality: "Our country is under attack."
We remember the shock of seeing our nation stopped completely for three long days.

For the workers in the towers who lost their lives in the flames, we continue to grieve.
We continue to honor the firefighters and the police officers who climbed the stairs to their deaths.
We admire the courageous passengers who fought their captors on the flight over Pennsylvania.
We grieve those who died in the Pentagon crash.

We remember the unity we felt as a nation: "We are one."
We remember the resolve we felt to do whatever was necessary to turn back evil.
We remember the flags that flew everywhere to give us hope.

We pray for those who died and for their families.
We pray for a world without terror and murder.
We pray for justice and peace for every person on earth.

From the Great Litany in the Book of Common Prayer, we pray:

That it may please thee to make wars to cease in all the world;
to give to all nations unity, peace, and concord; and to
bestow freedom upon all peoples,
We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord.

What forgiveness is not

From www.flickr.com

The Gospel lesson for Sunday is about forgiveness. Peter asks Jesus how many times he must forgive a person, "As many as seven times?" Jesus says, "I tell you, seventy seven times."

A book on forgiveness that has been very helpful for me is Forgive and Live by Una Kroll. She makes a number of helpful points, including these:

• Forgiveness is not automatic. We're not called to automatically forgive someone the hurt they've done us. It requires thought and intention.
• Forgiveness is not immediate. Regardless of how we might want to forgive immediately, it takes time to work through the process of forgiveness - even "seventy seven times."
• Forgiveness is not forgetting. Una Kroll's definition of forgiveness is "to offer a fresh start". This is helpful because it acknowledges the hurt but moves past it.
• Anger can be helpful in the process of forgiveness. When appropriately expressed, anger can be a means to justice and it can bring a cleansing of the soul.
• Reconciliation happens when both the offending person and the injured person offer forgiveness to the other. We can't always achieve reconciliation. All we can do is forgive.

Forgiveness is an enormous issue for many people, and practical, useful teaching on forgiveness is much needed. Una Kroll's book is very helpful.
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Forgiveness is re-framing

The Old Testament lesson for Sunday is the story of Joseph and his brothers in Genesis. The brothers sold Joseph into slavery after being convince not to kill him, and he suffered as a slave and in prison because of their treachery.

Years later, when Joseph became rich and powerful in Egypt, he had the opportunity to get back at his brothers who had to beg him for food during a famine. He could have punished them severely; but instead he chose to forgive them and to supply them with food and a place to live. In doing so, he saved their families from starvation, and preserved their posterity.

When he forgave them, Joseph said to his brothers, "Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people."

Joseph re-framed the picture by viewing it from a larger perspective. For Joseph, his suffering at the hands of his brothers was the means God used to save his people from starvation and continue the line of Abraham as God promised. Joseph was able to re-frame the situation.

When we need to forgive another person, it's often helpful for us to re-frame the picture. If we ask, "What is God trying to tell me in this situation", or, "What is God trying to accomplish in this problem," then we may find a new way of looking at our situation that allows us to forgive the one who hurt us.
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My blog routine

I didn't post to this blog last week. I don't know where the week went, but somehow I never found the time to post a reflection.

I have a regular morning routine that helps me write my blog entry, but when my routine is disturbed, I find it hard to compensate. Last week my mornings got away from me!

Here's my routine: I get up in the morning and do twenty minutes of centering prayer. This is a kind of contemplative prayer, letting all thoughts go while the mind rests in God. It's very centering, and when I leave it out, I feel like I haven't quite got the day started right.

Then I do Morning Prayer, using the Prayer Book and the lessons for the coming Sunday. I have a prayer bowl with prayers written on small squares of paper for my intercessions for each day.

Then I make coffee and write my blog. I find my mind is sharpest and most concentrated in the early morning, and I enjoy the focus on a short bit of writing.

If I don't write my blog in the early morning, I don't seem to find time for it later, and when I do, I find it difficult to focus my mind on the blog. So here's to early mornings, and a renewed commitment to post something each day!
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