The post-Christmas crumple

I spent a good part of the day crumpled on the couch. Most clergy I know find the Christmas and Easter celebrations exhausting, and I'm no exception. The extra services, the desire to reach visitors and guests, the many details that are required for the planning, the extras we throw in at service, as well as heightened expectations by the congregation -- they all contribute to wearing a person out.

I'm glad I've been through the Christmas cycle at St. Antony's now. The first time through is somewhat difficult because everyone in the congregation knows "the script" and they take it for granted. The poor Vicar can easily stumble into major mistakes without even knowing it, because the Vicar doesn't know "the way we've always done it."

In addition to all this, the unusual amount of snow this year made for extra anxiety and concern for everyone, and really threw a wrinkle in our preparations.

So -- we made it through this year, and next year will surely be easier!
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A snowy Christmas at St. Antony's

It's been a snowy week in Silverdale, and our steep driveway and our parking lot have been snowed in several times. Fortunately, a strong force of shovelers came out on Christmas Eve day and shoveled our driveway and the parking lot drive. Many thanks to all who loaned us their strong backs!

The snow and ice kept a lot of people at home this year, but we still had a good turnout for both Christmas Eve services (43 at the 5:00 Eucharist and 41 at the 11:00 Eucharist) and a handful came on Christmas Day at 9:00 AM.

Christmas services are always special, and this year was no exception. Being surrounded by the snow and ice just made us more aware of our togetherness, and perhaps more aware of the difficulties Mary and Joseph faced on their journey to Bethlehem with no room in the inn.

We heard once again the beautiful Christmas story, and received the Christ child in our hearts once more.
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The Presiding Bishop preaches to troops

Last Sunday our Presiding Bishop, the Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori, visited Bolling Air Force Base in Washington, D.C., as part of a pastoral visit to American troops and Episcopal chaplains.

In her sermon, she compared Mary to a military person under orders. Here's an excerpt of her sermon about the Annunciation:

"This conversation between Gabriel and Mary is about sharing a vision, the kind of perspective a general might have. The strategy of a strategos, the general who climbs up the hill to survey the battlefield. Gabriel is offering a big picture and asking if Mary will cooperate....

Mary’s first response is, 'sorry, unable, the equipment’s not ready.' And Gabriel responds by saying, 'Doesn’t matter. Elizabeth thought the same thing. And she’s six months into this deployment.'

Mary’s next response is remarkable. She says, 'Here I am, ready to serve.' And then, what’s usually translated as “let it be with me according to your word” actually starts out the same way a command does, 'let it be done.' In Latin, it’s 'fiat.' She claims the authority offered her. She commands, in full cooperation with the one who has asked."

I'm glad our Presiding Bishop sees the importance of visiting our military personnel and I appreciate her willingness to speak the language of the military culture.

You can find the whole sermon here.
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The wonder of Christmas

The Annunciation

When our sons were little boys, we read the Christmas story to them from a book illustrated with colorful paper cuts (like the one above). The illustrations were so vivid and imaginative, it always led us to ask "wonder" questions. "I wonder if the donkey knew he was carrying Jesus"; or "I wonder what happened to the sheep when the shepherds went to Bethlehem". We got lost in wonder as we became immersed in the story.

Christmas is a season of wonder. The beautiful story of Jesus' birth has inspired authors, artists, and composers for millenia because the story in the Gospel of Luke evokes awe and mystery. Hearing about Mary's encounter with an angel (a wondrous figure), her mysterious and impossible conception, the journey to Bethlehem and the oddness of giving birth in a stable, the angelic message to simple shepherds and their awestruck visit to the manger -- all of it inspires awe and wonder.

In the King James Version of the Christmas story, it says that when the shepherds left the baby in the manger and told others about it, "All they that heard it were filled with wonder."

Wonder is the capacity to enter into awe and mystery. Wonder is what allows us to briefly cross the border into God's territory. Wonder is imagination's gift to us. Wonder is what opens the doors of the soul and gives us wings to fly.

The Christmas story tells us more about God than any other story in the Bible because it opens us to wonder. Thank God for the capacity to wonder and for the beautiful story of Jesus' birth that causes us to wonder.
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Prepare the way of the Lord

This morning Heidi Feenstra-Wilson and her husband Aaron cleared the driveway at church. With any luck, we'll have a clear drive for Christmas Eve services. Many thanks to Heidi and Aaron for their hard work clearing the snow!

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord

We woke up to 8 inches of snow on the ground this morning and roads that were nearly impassable, so I walked to church at 6:30 AM and shoveled the church driveway. It was serene and beautiful so early in the morning with the silent snow all around.

Peter and Mardi showed up for the 8:00 AM Eucharist, so the three of us celebrated the holy mysteries. At 10:00 AM, the Stockwell family showed up, so we celebrated Eucharist with five people.

It was quite striking to worship with so few people. For the sermon, we reflected on the beautiful story of the Annunciation (when the angel Gabriel announced to Mary that she was going to conceive and bear a son) and the Magnificat, when Mary overflows in praise and exaltation.

I remarked that when we first come to church, it's usually because "we have to." Our family expects us to come. Later, it becomes a habit that we fall into. But hopefully at some point, worship in church becomes more than duty or habit; it becomes a thing of joy and beauty.

The Magnificat is a thing of joy and beauty. Mary's cry of joy is pure worship, and it reminds us of the joy of worship. I felt that joy this morning. Sharing the beautiful story of the Annunciation lifted me out of our simple setting and set my heart soaring, and I felt the words of the Magnificat anew. "My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my savior."

I'm thankful I had friends to worship with.
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The greening of the church

Today we decorated the church with garlands of evergreens. During the week, piles of fir, cedar, holly, and pine were left by the church door, and today they were clipped into small sprigs and sewn together in long garlands. Our altar guild members are expert at this: they take a nylon rope and wire the sprigs of green onto the rope. The combination of different greens gives variety to the eye and makes the garlands very attractive. In addition, we have two large evergreen wreaths hanging behind the altar.

Let it be

The story of the annunciation is one of the most beautiful stories of the Gospel. Mary, a simple young peasant woman, is visited by the angel Gabriel. That in itself is a beautiful story: a young woman in the bud of life, full of promise and possibility, being visited by a messenger of God.

The messenger says, "Greetings, Mary. You will conceive in your womb through the power of the holy spirit and bear a child who will be holy, the Son of God, and you will name him Jesus, which means Savior."

And Mary says, "Let it be so." She fully accepts what the angel is saying. She opens her life to God and lets the Holy Spirit work within her. She is willing to let God grow within her and come to full expression in the form of a baby. How beautiful!

What would it be like if we could say, "Yes" to God like Mary? What would it be like to let God grow silently in our innermost being until we begin to burst with the joy and radiance of God?

Let it be. Let beauty be. Let others be. Let love and hope and faith be. Let whatever comes our way be. Without needing to change or judge or control, let everything be. Let the spirit of God flow through us so that we are a channel of divine love. Let the inevitable working of God's grace be. Let it be.

Mary's response to the angel is the response of contemplative prayer. When we pray in silence, we let our thoughts subside and our anxieties fall away. For a short time, we let it be. Then as we resume our daily lives, we find it easier to be agents of God, handmaidens of the Lord, channels of God's grace.

Let it be.
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O ye ice and snow, bless ye the Lord

Guy Fulton shovels the church drive

We have three inches of snow on the ground in Silverdale, making everything beautiful but also shutting down all our church meetings. We canceled Bible Study and the Bishop's Committee meeting today.

This morning my son Guy and I shoveled the driveway to the church. We got there before anyone had driven on the asphalt, so it was pretty easy to clean it off. We put salt on the driveway and left it clean and clear. Old Frontier Road is snow-packed, but the county has sanded it to make it a little less slick.

Let's hope the roads are drivable this Sunday morning when we have the Christmas Pageant.
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Singing the Laud to the Nativity

Last Saturday I sang with the Bremerton Symphony Chorale at our annual Christmas concert. We sang Laud to the Nativity by Ottorino Respighi (1879-1936), an Italian composer well-known for his orchestral tone poems.

We've been practicing this piece for three months, and I've found it to be a wonderful preparation for Christmas. The Laud is a magnificent choral composition set in the stable where Jesus was born. Three soloists sing the parts of the Angel, the Virgin Mary, and a Shepherd.

And this child, pure and holy, sent by the Father,
sent by the Lord against evil to do battle,
lies in stable lowly within a manger
'mid the sheep and the cattle
to shield the child from the breezes.
Mary so gently in linen has bound him;
his blanket, hay around him.
Thus art thou come down to earth, blessed Jesus.

Respighi composed this in 1900, but he wrote it in the style of a 17th-century choral composition, so the harmonies and the tones have a baroque feel. Respighi was a gifted writer of melodies, and the melodic lines in the Laud have a lovely flow to them. I especially enjoyed the opening duet between the oboe and bassoon.

The text of the Laud puts us in the stable with Mary and the shepherds. The shepherds know that they're "unclean", but they want to touch the baby Jesus. Mary lets them touch him, and they go back to their flocks in joy. What a beautiful story!

Before we went on stage, one of the members of the chorale reminded us that the words we were singing were essentially worship, and she encouraged us to sing like that. I appreciated her reminder.
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What a priest is called to be and do

I've been thinking about my ordination vows and what a priest is called to do and be. In the Ordination of a Priest, it says:

"Now you are called to work as a pastor, priest, and teacher, together with your bishop and fellow presbyters, and to take your share in the councils of the church. As a priest, it will be your task to proclaim by word and deed the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to fashion your life in accordance with its precepts. You are to love and serve the people among whom you work, caring alike for young and old, strong and weak, rich and poor..." (BCP, p. 531)

A pastor is a shepherd, caring for the people and for the community of the church.
A priest is one who celebrates baptism and eucharist, and pronounces absolution and blessing.
A teacher is one who shares the Gospel through words and by example.

Those are the main things that define the identity of a priest. Of course, parish clergy have many other tasks expected of them. Probably the ordination vows should add, "....and other duties as assigned"!
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Shepherd or Captain?

Yesterday I was told by two concerned parishioners that I need to be more vigilant that people do their jobs in the parish. "Things are falling through the cracks," they told me.

They compared the vicar to the captain of a ship. "On a ship everyone has a job, and it's the captain's responsibility that everyone does their job."

I always thought that the job of a priest was to be a shepherd. A shepherd cares for the flock and walks alongside them, guiding them to green pastures and fresh water.

I'm pondering the difference between these two images. Am I a shepherd or a captain?

Our parish has many military families, so it's only natural that we think using military images. We feel comfortable knowing that the captain is in charge of the ship.

A few questions I'm thinking about:
How do I need to adapt myself to this way of seeing the parish?
How I can I best use my gifts for ministry in this setting?
What is God calling us to do and be as a parish?
Is the vicar the captain of the parish?
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Hospital waiting room again

Today I spent the morning at the new Harrison Hospital building in Silverdale, waiting through surgery with the daughter and son-in-law of an elderly parishioner who had a cornea transplant and a new lens for his eye.

I prayed with Howard and his children before the surgery. The surgeon explained everything carefully and asked if there were questions. I was impressed with his patience and concern for this elderly man (92 years old). The anesthesiologist was also excellent. After the surgery, the surgeon came out and told us that everything went very well, and we went into the post-op room and said a prayer of thanksgiving.

This was my first time in the Silverdale campus of Harrison Hospital. The building is nearly brand new, and is filled with light and carefully coordinated colors. A beautiful facility.
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O Magnum Mysterium

As a part of my preparation for Christmas, I listened to this YouTube video of a performance of "O Magnum Mysterium", a chant composed by Giovanni Gabrieli in 1536 in Venice. The performance is ethereal and haunting. The blend of the voices and the admirable restraint in the soft portions lead to a tremendous buildup in sound about two thirds of the way through.

The words in English are:

O great mystery, and wonderful sacrament,

that animals should see the new-born Lord, lying in a manger!

Blessed is the Virgin whose womb was worthy to bear Christ the Lord.

Alleluia!

I was struck not only by the beauty of the performance, but by the fact that I, a white middle-class American Protestant, was able to listen to a choir from the Philippines singing medieval chants composed in a cathedral in Venice almost 500 years ago. Such a beautiful constellation of music, technology, culture, and spirit.

The wonder and mystery of the birth of Jesus in a humble stable is made present in this gorgeous music. What soul can listen to this and not be touched by the Spirit?
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Harrison Hospital waiting room

Harrison Hospital

Today I accompanied a parishioner to Harrison Hospital where she was to have knee replacement surgery. I met her and her son when they arrived, and we prayed in the waiting room before surgery. We prayed for the surgeons and anesthesiologists, the nurses and technicians, and the whole surgical team, and we asked that the surgery be successful and the recovery complete.

There's a lot of anxiety about surgery because we're allowing the surgeon to enter our body and remove something that is integral to us. It's good to have spiritual support when we're in surgery.

Her son and I spent the morning and part of the afternoon in the lobby, reading and chatting. I said silent prayers occasionally. After an hour and a half in surgery, the doctor came out and said everything went smoothly and the surgery was successful. Thanks be to God! Medical science is truly marvelous and this surgery will improve her quality of life immeasurably.

While we were waiting, I did a sketch of the hospital lobby (above) to pass the time.
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Vicar's Bible study

Today we're having our second session of the Vicar's Bible Study. This group meets every Thursday at noon to study the scriptures with the Vicar. Currently we're studying the story of Ruth.

Ruth's story is worth reading for its storytelling value. It's a story of two women who become widowed and bond with each other for survival. It encompasses grief and loss, the bonds of human affection, grit and pluck, the response of a righteous man, and a love story of sorts.

At our first session, we began to learn how we'll work together. I enjoyed it tremendously and I hope we'll continue with the same sense of inquiry, wonder, and exploration. I usually try to craft a series of questions that help us explore the text and go behind the text so we can relate it to our own lives today.

A good small group is a joy and a treasure. I think we've got a good one here, and I hope we'll build a strong sense of community among ourselves.
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The atmosphere of Advent

Advent is one of my favorite seasons of the church year because of the yearning feeling it offers. Advent feels incomplete. It has no fullness or completeness to it, but it looks forward to something that is coming.

I think the most predominant feeling I had as a teenager and young adult was a feeling of yearning. I felt like I was trapped in my constrained circumstances, but if I could just break free of them I could experience great and wonderful things. I yearned to experience the freedom I heard other people talking about.

This yearning was a powerful motivator for me. I traveled and did a lot of things I wouldn't have otherwise. Yearning for something that's not yet here motivates us to seek new things. Yearning is a lean, hungry feeling, a sense of not-yet-but-very-close, a desire for something more.

That's the feel of Advent for me. We're waiting for the birth of Christ, and we yearn for it. We're waiting for the second coming of Christ, and we yearn for it. We want more of God and we yearn for God.

Many of the Advent hymns say, "Come," as a way of expressing this yearning: "Savior of the nations, come!"; "O come, O come, Emmanuel"; "Lo, he comes"; "Come, thou long-expected Jesus."

Yearning for God means to wait with hope and longing. That's the feel of Advent for me.
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Burnout and recovery

From flickr.com

Last week I preached five sermons in eight days. I delivered two normal Sunday sermons, plus two memorial service sermons, plus the sermon at the Thanksgiving Eve community service.

The preparation for the sermons and worship, plus the normal press of duties has left me pretty drained. I was pretty anxious about the community service because I knew it would be a lot of people, and I would be preaching in a setting unfamiliar to me.

In addition, memorial service sermons are somewhat difficult to deliver because I'm usually preaching about a person I didn't know well to a family who is grieving. I want to offer something that honors the life of the person who died; I want to say something that's honest about the person's life; and I want to remind us of the resurrection of Jesus.

So after such a slew of preaching, I'm ready for a week without any special sermons. Next Sunday Bishop Nedi will preach at the 10:00 Eucharist when she visits St. Antony's, so my duties are lightened.

So this week I'm looking forward to a little relief from the pressure of preaching and a little more attention to some of the usual parish details.
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Thanksgiving Eve service

Tonight at 7:00 We'll join the local Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Methodist congregations for a Thanksgiving Eve service at Central Kitsap Presbyteran Church. We'll have a combined choir, liturgical dancers, a trumpet ensemble, a bell choir, holy communion, lots of cookies...and I'll be preaching.

I'll be talking about gratitude as a spiritual practice, remembering some of the times I've failed to be grateful and thinking about ways to slow down and look at what we have. The scripture text is the story of the ten lepers healed by Jesus in Luke 17. Only one of them stops and realizes what God has done for him. Stopping, I'll suggest, is the key to gratitude.

Everyone is invited to bring a non-perishable food offering for the Central Kitsap Food Bank. Sounds like a good event.

Al Stedman, "Bee Man"

Al Stedman, "The Bee Man"

Yesterday we had the memorial service for Al Stedman. There were over 200 people present - far more than we could seat in the church. Al was known throughout the state as "The Bee Man" because of his work as a beekeeper and a teacher of beekeepers.

In additional to his large extended family, we had quite a number of beekeepers present. Like Al, they're colorful and independent characters. Beekeepers work for themselves and they work outdoors...a good combination for people with an independent streak.

Two of Al's granddaughters gave a eulogy for him and his daughter Nancy also spoke. All three offered heartfelt memories of Al. They admitted he could be stubborn and obstinate, but they also remembered his warmth and support.

Al and his wife Barbara lived in their house on Anderson Hill for over forty years. It was a center for beekeepers from all over this area, and the local beekeeping association has met there for years. Al had his shop there and sold beekeeping products. His son will keep it going.

It was a privilege to be with this family in their loss and grief, and to see how a closely connected extended family draws close in times of need.
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A letter to County Commissioner Bauer

When I moved to Silverdale, I fully intended to use my bicycle to commute to work. What I found, however, is that the roads are too narrow and congested for bicycling. Bicycling on Bucklin Hill Road means jockeying for space with fast-moving cars and trucks, and there's no shoulder and no bike lane.

So when I read in the newspaper about the county Commissioners discussing whether they should include bike lanes on the new Waaga Way connector road that will go past our church, I decided to write a letter to county commissioner Steve Bauer in support of bike lanes. Here it is:

Dear Commissioner Bauer,

I read in the Silverdale Life issue of the Kitsap Sun your comments about bike lanes on the Waaga Way Connector, and I see that you have a work session on Waaga Way next Monday.

I'm the pastor of St. Antony's Episcopal Church, located on Old Frontier Road, which will become connected to the new Waaga Way road. I'm also a bicycle commuter, and I support bike lanes on all new road construction.

I encourage you to fight for bike lanes on Waaga Way. Most of the roads in the Silverdale area were built in the 1980's to funnel automobiles into a giant mall, and bicycle transportation wasn't even considered then. Most of the Silverdale area has no bike lanes, and bicycling is hazardous on Silverdale roads. We really need bike lanes in Silverdale!

I'm convinced that the transportation of the future will include large numbers of bicyclists. We've already passed peak oil, and petroleum-fueled cars are going the way of the dinosaur. We're building roads today for the future, and we need to include bike lanes to meet those needs.

Thank you for supporting bike lanes on this new road.

Sincerely,

The Rev. Bill Fulton
St. Antony Episcopal Church
Silverdale, WA 98383
Blog: http://vicarofsilverdale.blogspot.com/

The Bishop's address at Convention

Bishop Greg gave his annual address to the Diocese at Convention. Let me summarize the high points.

Radical Hospitality. He gave a humorous example of radical hospitality by telling us about his first visit to his dentist, in which he received the complete and total attention of the dentist and her staff. This was his way of emphasizing the importance of welcoming guests to our churches.

Three priorities. The bishop has always stated his three priorities are: People 35 and under; Congregational development; and Stewardship of all of our resources—human, monetary and our environment. He cited many instances where the diocese is working on those goals.

People 35 and under: a new commission for the emerging church; and a new diocesan staff person for youth.

Congregational Development: the founding of the College for Congregational Development; and the beginning of the Safeguarding God's Children training program.

Stewardship: the success of the Bishop's Society; good work by the Bishop's Committee for the Environment, including the Genesis Covenant; his service on the Governor's Climate Action team; and raising $160,000 for hurricane relief and malaria nets.

He mentioned the economic recession and addressed concerns about the tightening economy, and he talked about his mutual ministry review.

You can find the whole address on the diocesan website by clicking here.

Indaba groups at Convention

At Diocesan Convention last week, we spent several hours in discussion groups using the "Indaba" format. Indaba is a term used in African villages when an issue needs to be discussed by the whole village. In an Indaba group, everyone has the right to talk and the discussion goes on as long as necessary to iron out the problem.

In the planning of the Convention, resolutions on human sexuality were proposed for debate on the convention floor. Bishop Greg asked that we use Indaba groups in place of resolutions, and that's what we did. One of our Indaba sessions was on human sexuality, and asked the question, "Is the church ready to move ahead with full inclusion of gay and lesbian people?"

In his weekly letter, he said he'd gotten a lot of feedback about the Indaba groups and the reduced amount of debate on resolutions. Here's my letter to him with my feedback:

Dear Bishop Greg,

I appreciate your comments about the Indaba discussion groups at Convention last week. For me the Indaba groups were a refreshing change from the usual debate format. Small group discussion is a much better way to engage an issue than listening to a few tedious people wield microphones on the convention floor.

Our group had a good discussion on the questions on human sexuality. The members of our group were clearly in favor of the suggestion that the church is ready to move ahead with full inclusion of gay and lesbian people. I was alone in cautioning that some people in my parish would not be ready to accept that suggestion, and we had a good discussion about how important it is to remember the whole body of the church.

One of the members of our group told about her joy in seeing the baptism in her parish of the children of her lesbian daughter and her partner. Another person told how he moved from rejection to acceptance of gay and lesbian people. It was very helpful to hear these stories.

I hope we'll continue to use Indaba groups at future conventions.

Thanks,
Bill Fulton

Diocesan Convention

I spent Friday and Saturday at Diocesan Convention with our parish delegates Bill Demmon and Elizabeth Flagg. They were two very busy days, with an overwhelming amount of information to process. I'll be thinking about what we heard and saw for a few days and I'll share more about that later.
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Diocesan Convention Friday and Saturday

I'll be in Seattle Friday and Saturday for the Diocesan Convention. During this annual two-day event, representatives from all the churches in the diocese get together to do the business of the diocese and gain inspiration and vision for the coming year.

Inevitably there are resolutions to be debated and passed. I'm of the opinion that unless a resolution makes a real difference in the real world, we shouldn't entertain it. Too often people put forward resolutions that just promote their own political or personal agenda and have no impact whatsoever after the convention is over.

Bishop Greg has written that he hopes this convention will center around learning, bible study and sharing between people from different churches. This is more of a relational emphasis and less of a legislative emphasis. I hope it works.

We'll have Eucharist twice during the convention and as a clergy new to the diocese, I'll help administer communion tomorrow morning. I'm looking forward to that.

I'll give a brief recap of convention when I get back.

Board meeting for CK Food Bank

On Tuesday evening I attended the board meeting of the Central Kitsap Food Bank. Previously I visited the food bank warehouse and met the executive director, Hoyt Burrows.

I was impressed with the board. There were about a dozen people present, and nearly all of them contributed to the discussion. Obviously they're ore than just names on a letterhead, but they're a working board.

They talked quite a bit about the upcoming Thanksgiving Dinner program. They'll be giving away hundreds of turkey dinners to people in need. They've had 600 turkeys donated and they've organized a special volunteer effort to give out the dinners in the week before Thanksgiving Day.

The board also went over their budget, their publicity efforts, a new truck purchase and of course the latest treasurer's report. They've already begun to organize their auction scheduled for next May 30. The chair of the meeting kept it moving along and the staff provided needed information.

Our Outreach Committee is always looking for outreach partnerships in our community. We have a long relationship with the Food Bank; it's only a couple of blocks from our door; and it does the work that Jesus calls us to do. I think it's a good match for our parish.

I'm going to explore how I can become more involved at the food bank, and see how it develops.
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Blog on vacation

I'll be on vacation this week, November 3-8, as I visit my family in Colorado.

I'll spend a few days with my mother in La Junta, and a couple of days with my sister and brother in Boulder and Broomfield. It'll be nice to see them all again.

Central Kitsap Food Bank

Hoyt Burrows

Today I visited Central Kitsap Food Bank and was given a tour by Hoyt Burrows, the Executive Director. The Food Bank is located on Anderson Hill Road, just a few blocks from St. Antony's.

Hoyt showed me their facility, which is a commodious metal building with lots of activity. Volunteers were stocking shelves and interviewing clients while families with kids picked food off the painted plywood shelves. A couple of cubicles to the side of the warehouse provided shelter for Hoyt's office and for Kathy, the administrative assistant.

Hoyt said that this month there were about 565 families getting food from CK Food Bank, compared with 417 last year. Every month this year has seen an increase of 15% to 35% over last year. The need is immense.

St. Antony's has been a long-time supporter of CK Food Bank, and I hope we'll continue. A sound principle for outreach programs is to serve the people in your neighborhood. CK Food Bank is definitely in our neighborhood!

Board meetings for the Food Bank are second Tuesdays at 5 PM at the Silverdale Beach Hotel. I think I'll attend the next one.
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Book on Healthy Congregations

Recently I read Healthy Congregations by Peter Steinke (Alban, 1996). Steinke is part of the Alban Institute, an ecumenical think tank for congregational life.

This book has been around for a while, but it's a classic. Steinke compares the life of a church congregation to a human body. Just as the human body has a circulatory system, a respiratory system, a brain and a nervous system, etc., a congregation has similar systems that work as a whole to keep the body healthy.

Good circulation in the body is like the healthy flow of information through the parish, for instance. And just as the body has immune systems to identify and defend against viruses that attack the body, a healthy church also has immune systems, namely in good leadership.

Steinke says that good parish leadership is not afraid to address conflict and bring it into the open. Mature leaders manage their own anxiety and keep a positive outlook, while always focusing on the longterm mission of the parish.

He warns about four at-risk conditions: overfocusing on clergy; paying too much attention to painful events; adapting to weakness; and taking sides and taking hostages. He points out that anxiety in a church is a like a virus, and he names four viruses: secrets, accusation, lies, and triangulation.

Steinke helps us laugh at ourselves. He talks about the “coconut captivity” of the church: we’re like a monkey that refuses to let go of the grain in the jar in order to escape captivity. In other words, we’re fearful of losing what we already have and we’re unwilling to take the risks that we need to free ourselves.

As I think about our congregation, I wonder how we can be a healthy and vital parish. This book has a lot of helpful wisdom for us.

newlife church

This morning I attended the leadership meeting of newlife church. I was invited by Jack Tensch, a retired Episcopal priest who is active at newlife.

Newlife is a young church targeting people in their twenties and thirties. They currently meet in Klohowya High School and they're opening a second campus in Port Orchard. Their growth in numbers has been phenomenal...from seven families to over a thousand in worship every Sunday.

The leadership meeting this morning was inspiring. There were fifty people, mostly under 25, packed into their gathering place, intently listening and sharing with each other. This was a gathering of the leadership of newlife, especially the "apprentices", young people who are leading a small group or a team for the church.

The purpose of these Tuesday meetings is to teach and energize these young people. The senior pastor, Wes Davis, is obviously passionate about reaching the unchurched and growing newlife. I was enchanted with the idealism and energy of all the people there.

A couple of catch-phrases I heard: We're "on the mission." If you are on board with the church and its vision, then you are "on the mission." They used that phrase several times to capture the intensity of the vision.

Another phrase I heard often was "170,000 people without a church in our county". This came up several times as the driving force behind their efforts. There are 170,000 people in Kitsap County who don't have a church home, and the mission of newlife is to bring them into a relationship with Jesus.

Growth is definitely part of the DNA of this church. They expect growth, they feed on growth, and they plan for growth. It makes it an exciting place to be.

I learned a lot from the gathering, and I hope to use some of their ideas and energy for St. Antony's. We can all learn from each other!
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Train trip to Eugene

Chad at Caspian's Cafe

Yesterday I made a quick train trip to Eugene to see Chad, my younger son. I haven't seen him since college started in September, and I miss him. So I jumped on the Amtrak Sunday afternoon in Tacoma and arrived in Eugene at 9 PM.

I slept on the floor in his apartment. This morning we walked to my favorite University District cafe, Caspian's, and had breakfast. Caspian's is a little Mediterranean cafe run by an extended family who speak with an eastern mediterranean accent. Great food, low prices, funky atmosphere. My favorite.

Today I took the Amtrak back to Tacoma and got home before dark. A good day.

Heart, soul, and mind

The Gospel for this Sunday is known as the "Summary of the Law." When Jesus is asked which of the commandments is the greatest, he replies without hesitation with two quotes from the Hebrew scriptures:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and all your soul, and all your mind." (Deuteronomy 6:4)
...and...
You shall love your neighbor as yourself." (Leviticus 19:18)

Deuteronomy 6:4 is also known by Jewish people as the Shema and is repeated daily as Moses directed.

I think of this passage as encouragement for us to acknowledge God with our whole being: heart, soul and mind. Our emotions, our gut, and our brain. We're called to be whole people in our relationship with God, and to offer our whole being to God.

Ed Bacon, the rector of All Saints, Pasadena, said that when he and his wife were first attending an Episcopal Church, his wife asked him, "Why are we going to the Episcopal Church, anyway?" He replied to her, "I think it's because we're able to be the same person when we leave home as we are when we arrive at church."

In other words, they didn't feel the need to "churchify" themselves in order to go to worship, but their whole humanity was invited into worship - heart, soul, and mind. God wants to have a relationship with our whole being, not just the parts we want God to see.
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Taking communion to Ann

Last night I went to Clearbrook Inn Living Center with Gigi, one of our Eucharistic Visitors, to give communion to Ann, a resident there. Gigi is just learning to be a Eucharistic Visitor, so I took this opportunity to show her how to bring communion.

Gigi has been bringing a Sunday afternoon Bible study and prayer session to Clearbrook for many months, and she knows Ann well. Now that Gigi has been licensed as a Eucharistic Visitor, she'll be able to bring communion every week.

I love bringing communion to elderly people who can't come to church. They're always appreciative, and it's a small thing to do for such a great reward.

The form for home communions is in the prayer book, and it provides dignity and beauty for the communion service. St. Antony's has a beautiful communion kit made of varnished mahogany. Inside the kit is a small silver chalice and paten and a glass cruet for the wine. When they are laid out on a table, they make a splendid setting for communion. A couple of scripture passages, the Lord's Prayer, and the sharing of bread and wine complete the simple service.

Ann was very appreciative of our efforts. She's a frail woman, quite elderly, but with great southern charm and a lovely Georgia accent. A devout Christian, she knows her Bible verses by heart and has a prayer list as long as your arm.

It was a good visit.
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Fresh Start curriculum

Yesterday I spent the day at a "Fresh Start" conference in tiny St. Mark's Church in Montesano. Fresh Start is a program designed by the national church to help clergy as they are entering a new congregation. The church recognizes that this time of transition is a critical time in the life of a parish, and they want to help make successful transitions.

I'm part of a Fresh Start group of about 18 clergy. We meet about once a month except during the summer, and the program is designed to take a year to complete. Each month the presenters introduce one of the modules of the program for us to study. This month it was "Leadership for Our Times".

We talked about what makes a good leader, and how different situations may call for different kinds of leadership. Then we took a self-assessment quiz to define what our leadership style is.

There are four leadership styles:

• Relater - Works harmoniously well with others and looks for cues from others about leading change
  
• Promoter - Loves to hear stimulating ideas about change and create the conditions for change
  
• Analyzer - Studies a situation very carefully and justifies change with a rational analysis
  
• Director - Likes to lead change decisively, and works in a business-like manner

My self-assessment showed that I'm split between the "Relater" and Promoter" styles. I guess that's probably accurate.

I learned about leadership, but what I really liked was talking with other clergy and learning from them. There were some talented people there, and I got some good ideas and inspiration from them.
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Speaking of money

Last Sunday I preached about money. I talked about how placing our offering of money on the altar makes it holy, and makes us holy by extension.

I find it hard to preach about money. As soon as the topic comes up, you can see the entire congregation begin to stiffen up. We're all wary about other people reaching into our pocketbook, and for good reason. If there is ever a quagmire for a pastor, money is it. The topic has to be addressed delicately.

Jesus talked a lot about money. He talked about the poor being blessed, about how life does not consist of the possession of money, he talked about how it is for a rich person to enter the kingdom of heaven. You'd think money would be part of the vocabulary of the church, but it's not.

We're about to begin our stewardship campaign where we ask for our members to make a pledge for next year. A pledge is not a contract - it's just a good faith estimate of what we'll be able to give in the coming year. And yet it's hard for us to talk about pledges. In every church I've been in, a person's pledge is a deep dark secret.

I don't know how we can make it easier to talk about money. Our bishop Greg does a remarkably good job by simply being open and honest about the topic. That's probably the best place to start.
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Tony's Trekkers

"Tony's trekkers" is a hiking group associated with St. Antony's (St. "Tony's"). They've been hiking together since about 1997, and the group now includes a number of people who are "friends" of the parish. Every month the group takes a different hike.

Today we joined the group for the October hike. We started from the Brant's house on Hood Canal. We hiked the logging roads and paths above their house, then returned for a delicious dinner of grilled salmon.

The weather was perfect - cool fresh fall air with clear skies. Our hike was a relatively easy stroll through the woods. A lovely day with good friends.

Sick days

I've been ill the past few days. A nasty cold has attacked me and I've been doing the minimum necessary. I think I'm past the worst of it, though, and tomorrow I'll be back on schedule.

Do you get sick days for a blog?

Safeguarding God's Children

Yesterday I went to a workshop on the prevention of sexual abuse of children. In attendance were about a hundred clergy. To emphasize his urgency about this training, Bishop Greg was there. The presenter was Sally, a lawyer from the national church office.

We saw two videos that alternated between the stories of children who were victims of sexual abuse and perpetrators of sexual abuse. The videos are disturbing because they force you to confront unpleasant issues. Sexual abuse happens, and it happens in churches. That's painful to contemplate.

Clearly, our first task is to create a safe environment where the children of God are protected and nurtured, learning to trust God. The workshop gave us five areas for us to address:

• Screening - Use applications and references to screen those who work with children
• Interacting - Have written standards about good ways to show affection
• Training - Communicate the policies and standards of the parish to everyone. Make people aware how abuse happens and what to do when you suspect abuse
• Monitoring - Always be aware of where the children are
• Responding - Speak up when you suspect something and notify child protective services, the police, and the diocese when necessary

These tasks aren't easy, especially in a small congregation where there's a high level of interaction between adults and children. But the safety of the children has to be top priority.
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Required workshop

Today I am leaving home early for a workshop in Bellevue on Sexual Abuse Prevention. This six hour workshop is required for all diocesan clergy, and I want to be sure I get the latest training.

Making sure our children have a safe environment is a top priority for me and for St. Antony's, and we want to make sure we do all we can to provide it. So I'm happy to attend this program, even though it takes a full day of travel and training.

Questions about the economy

We're in the beginning stages of our stewardship campaign for this year. In the next month, we'll be making our pledges for our giving to the church for next year. Considering the bleak news about the global financial meltdown, our timing doesn't seem too good.

The causes of the current economic crisis are many and varied, and there's plenty of blame to go around. But it does raise questions about our relationship with money.

In the last fifteen years, our economy has soared as we have increased our personal and national debt. I wonder if we've become so obsessed with prosperity and growth that we've neglected basic values like hard work, delayed gratification, and sacrifice. We've become so delighted with rising real estate values and a soaring stock market that we take it for granted that our prosperity will always increase.

Now that's all being questioned and we may be entering a period of recession. A recession is a necessary period of devaluation to return the markets to their true value. A recession forces us to recognize economic realities.

Maybe next time around we'll be more wary about our personal and national indebtedness. The bailout of enormous firms that were overvalued makes us realize how important it is for us to live within our means.

Financial penance is similar to spiritual penance. When we realize the error of our ways, the door is open for transformation and growth. It seems that we're in a period of national economic penance, and I'm hopeful it will lead to a re-examination of our values.
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High School Coronation

Last night I went to the Klahowya High School coronation ceremony. I'd received an invitation from Chad Reeder, one of our youth at St. Antony's, who was on the court.

This was high school ritual at its peak: ten young couples, elegantly dressed in formal wear, being recognized for their grace and accomplishments. Each couple was announced and a short bio was read as they entered. The school jazz group sang two lush numbers with warm vocals and rich harmonization. The new king and queen were crowned, and the program ended.

Chad is a very accomplished young man and kept a very poised presence through the ceremony. It was a pleasure to see him and these other fine young people.
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Blessing of the animals

A photo from last year's animal blessing

Yesterday we had the Blessing of the Animals at St. Antony's. We had about 107 humans at our two services, and about 30 animals! It was a noisy, frolicsome, delightful Eucharist. Many of our young people brought their pets, including a mouse, a hamster, a rabbit, and numerous dogs and cats.

I preached on the simplicity and purity of Francis' life that allowed him to be trusted by animals and birds, and I gave a short version of his sermon to the birds. I liked the sermon, but I'm not sure if anyone could hear it! Doesn't matter.

I did the blessing of the animals right after the sermon, and afterwards some people took their pets to their cars so the room quieted down a bit. It was wonderful to have such high energy in our church, and I think everyone felt the blessing was meaningful.

Here's a quote from Fyodor Dostoevsky's novel The Brothers Karamazov that fits well with the spirit of St. Francis:

"Love all God's creation, the whole and every grain of sand of it. Love every leaf, every ray of God's light. Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love."
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Our animal companions

The first funerals I conducted took place in the back yard of our seminary rental housing. There, underneath the clustering oak trees, we laid to rest a series of beloved hampsters and our cat, Smitty. I felt that our sons, who were then about 7 and 9, needed to know that their beloved creatures came from God and returned to God.

The death of an animal friend can be very painful for a family that has loved and cared for that creature for many years. Our pets become part of our family, and, in some cases, they become our family. Many people bring their animal companions to be photographed with them for their family portrait.

There's been a shift in our language: we no longer call them "pets", but "animal friends", and we're no longer "pet owners" -- now we're "guardians." This reflects a shift in our understanding that humans aren't the only creatures on the planet of worth and value. Our animal companions are just as important as we are.

I wonder if this change in relationship to our animal companions might help us change our relationship with our environment. If our dogs and cats have value in themselves, then don't the air and soil and water carry the same value? If we aren't the "owners" of our pets, but rather guardians, then aren't we also guardians, not owners, of the earth?

This Sunday we will have the blessing of the animals at St. Antony's. It's a way of recognizing how valuable our animal companions are to us, and how they change our relationship to the earth.
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St. Francis of Assisi

From www.flickr.com

This Sunday we will celebrate the feast day of Francis of Assisi. The feast day of Francis is October 4, but we are transferring it to October 5.

Francis was born in 1182 in San Damiano, Italy. He was the son of a wealthy cloth merchant, and as a young man he lived a frivolous and wasteful life. An experience of sickness and a difficult experience in the military caused him to re-think his life. One day, as he was meditating in the shabby church of San Damiano, he heard God say to him, "Francis, rebuild my church."

He took the call literally and sold some cloth from his father's business to pay for repairs to the church. His father was so furious at this extravagance that he brought Francis before the bishop, and asked the bishop to order Francis to repay him.

Francis gave all his money to his father, and he even took off his clothes and gave them to him. He stood there naked and said, "Now I owe you nothing." From that point on, Francis was determined to live a life of utter poverty, living for God alone. He would beg scraps of food from leftovers and waste-bins, and he only wore discarded clothing.

He began rebuilding the church using stones from the field. He cared for the sick, especially those with terrible sores on their body. His total devotion to the life of simplicity and poverty caused him to be filled with joy and holiness, and soon he was joined by a few companions who wanted to share his life.

After a few years the Pope allowed Francis and his companions to form the Little Brothers, an order which eventually became the Franciscan Order we know today.

Francis was a "holy fool". He always took the simplest, most loving path, and he had no guile within him. He wandered through the woods and fields, rejoicing in the goodness of God's creation. He composed the words to the hymn, "All creatures of our God and King", a song of praise to the whole creation (Hymn 400 in our hymnal).

Francis was so simple and kind that even the animals recognized him. He would preach to the animals in the forest, telling them about God's love for them. Because of this, he's famous for being the patron saint of animals, and many churches will have a blessing of the animals on St. Francis' Day.

I'm told that the tradition of St. Antony's is to have a blessing of the animals on the Sunday nearest St. Francis' Day, so this Sunday we will bless all pets that are brought to our church. St. Francis would love it!
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A funeral, a class, a worship service, and a Cursillo

The room where a Cursillo talk is being given (the speaker is in a wheelchair facing the people)

Last week was a whirlwind for me, so I had only one post on this blog. Much of the week was spent preparing for a funeral on Thursday. In addition, we started our weekly Wednesday night program in which I celebrated the Eucharist and taught a class. Then on Thursday evening I went to Emmanuel Episcopal Church in Mercer Island for a three-day Cursillo experience.

Cursillo is a "short course" on Christianity in which participants are taught about the essentials of the Christian faith in an intense weekend and bombarded with love. Cursillo is an international program that's been around since 1949. Fourteen men were participants and about 25 men were on the support team.

Cursillo is a lay-led program. Almost all the talks on the weekend are given by lay people, and the clergy are there only to give a few talks, lend support, and celebrate the Eucharist. The Diocese of Olympia has a strong Cursillo community and this weekend there were men from churches all over the Diocese.

The sketch above is a rendering of the room where the talks were given. I was impressed by the quality of men that participated. There was a doctor, two veterinarians, a top Boeing engineer, a CPA, and lots of men in high-tech businesses. The leaders of the event did a very impressive job of planning and coordinating.

Cursillo creates a supportive environment where people in small groups can share their life of faith. Invariably people open up and find their lives transformed as they experience the love of God and the support of their friends. We saw that happening this weekend when the men gave their talks at the closing Eucharist.

The weekend was packed with activity and quite intense. I was very happy to have a day off yesterday to recuperate.
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Kairos: Prison ministry

Yesterday I went to the closing ceremony for a Kairos weekend at the CWWF womens' prison near Gig Harbor. Kairos is a prison ministry patterned after the renewal movement Cursillo.

The closing ceremony was the final event in a three-day weekend during which Kairos volunteers brought their program into the womens' prison. The volunteers come from a wide variety of churches in this area.

We drove to the womens' prison after church on Sunday and parked the car. We left everything in the car except for two forms of ID and the car keys. When we entered the facility, they signed us in and took our keys and ID and issued us a visitor's badge. I'll have to admit it felt spooky to have all my ID and keys taken away. There's something about a prison that strips you down to the essentials.

After all the visitors, probably fifty of us, had assembled in a waiting room, we were ushered into the prison. First we went through a security system like the ones you find in an airport, then we were taken as a group through a series of locked fences with concertina wire on the top. Stern guards accompanied us. They take their jobs very seriously.

When we came to the chapel, we sat for twenty minutes or so waiting for the Kairos participants. When they came in, we stood and clapped and cheered for these women. Dressed in jeans and sweatshirts, they carried themselves with diffidence, solemnity, and in some cases, a shy smile.

The Kairos volunteers had spent the three days with these women helping them work through their pain, anger, and helplessness, offering them the knowledge that God forgives and loves them. From the handmade posters on the walls, I could see the words "not alone" on many of them.

The women got up in their small groups (called families) and talked about their experiences. It was very touching to hear them. A number of them said how broken they felt at the beginning of the weekend, and how they'd learned to forgive. Many of them mentioned the ceremony the night before in which they'd made a list of the people who had hurt them and then burned the list as an act of forgiveness.

I looked at the volunteers and saw good hearted people who willingly gave their time and their hearts to these incarcerated women. They brought healing, strength, and hope to them. I'm sure this weekend was a transformative weekend for many of these imprisoned women.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief when they gave me back my car keys and we drove away, free to go home to our blessedly normal lives.
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To die and be with Christ

One of the parishioners at St. Antony's is approaching death from a long illness. He's receiving comfort care in a local nursing home and is no longer responsive to voices. He's at peace, but for his family, it's a very difficult time.

The Epistle for Sunday has some words of hope. Paul, near the end of his life, is writing from prison. He writes that he is torn between living and dying. He wants to die, he says, because then he would be with Christ. But he also feels a need to stay alive to help the Philippians with their new faith.

"I am hard pressed between the two," he writes. "My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better; but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for you."

Paul is not afraid of death; in fact he's looking forward to it as the consummation and victory of his life. "Dying is gain," he says.

I hope we'll all be able to embrace such a view when we're near death. When we have a deep and abiding faith, death, when it comes, is much more grace-filled and beautiful. We have a lot to learn from Paul in this matter.
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Called to be faithful, not successful

The Gospel lesson for Sunday is the parable of the unjust landowner. The landowner hires workers for his vineyard at different times of the day, but he pays them all the same wage no matter how many hours they worked. Those who worked all day and bore "the burden of the day and the scorching heat" are jealous of those who worked only a few hours in the evening and got paid the same amount.

This passage is one of a series that follows the disciples' question to Jesus, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" (Matthew 18:1) Jesus is trying to tell the disciples that favoritism or elitism has no part in God's working. God will be God, and we're called to be faithful without the expectation that we're going to be rewarded or given a special place for our faithfulness.

In other words, we're called to be faithful, not to be successful.

We live in a culture that rewards success with money, privilege, and esteem. It's not surprising that many preachers today preach a "success Gospel", namely that being a good Christian will make you prosperous and wealthy.

But that is exactly contrary to what Jesus says in this parable. As workers in God's vineyard (the world) we're called to work for God's purposes. Maybe we'll be rewarded for that; maybe not. God's ways are not always our ways.

This doesn't mean we should give anything less than our best effort. We strive for success, but we don't expect that success will somehow get us into heaven alone.

The opposite is also true. When we experience failure and defeat, we know that we're not going to be judged for that. As long as we're faithful to our calling, we can be at peace.
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Angry at God

My image of Jonah

In the Old Testament Lesson for Sunday, Jonah is angry with God. He's angry because God did not destroy the sinful city of Nineveh. Jonah is fuming because God called him all the way from his home to come preach to the people of Nineveh and now he doesn't even get to see them punished for their wicked ways. Instead, God has forgiven them because they repented.

God says to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry?" And he replies, "Yes, angry enough to die."

Jonah is angry because of what he perceives as the injustice of God. The Ninevites should have been punished! Why weren't they receiving the penalty for their sin?

I wonder if any of us can identify with Jonah. Maybe we haven't been angry with God as such, but we've been angry at perceived injustice. When life isn't fair, or when we feel misused, we get angry.

I think it's notable that God doesn't say Jonah's anger is wrong. He simply points out the objects of his compassion. "Look at these people, a hundred twenty thousand...and also many animals." The compassion of God is bigger than Jonah can envision.

Perhaps our anger can be mitigated sometimes in a similar way. We can look at things from God's perspective and not our own.

My Stay-cation

This week I'm on "staycation". That's the new word for taking a vacation without traveling. I'm taking the week off because my son Chad is here and I want to spend some time with him. Next week he'll begin his senior year at the University of Oregon.

Taking time off is part of personal self-care that everyone should be aware of. Our culture is so intent on being productive 100% of the time that we forget to tend to our self-care. Jesus' example of going off by himself to pray is a good reminder that we need time away from the demands of our work.

The photo above is me next to my "dream boat". This boat is a fiberglass copy of a design named "Rozinante" by L. Francis Herreshoff, the genius boat designer (1890-1972). I've always wanted to build a wooden Rozinante just as Herreshoff designed it. When I saw this boat in a marina at Port Townsend, I just had to have my photo taken next to it!

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Celebration of New Ministry

Greg Rickel, Bishop of Olympia, and me

On Saturday, Bishop Rickel came to St. Antony's for our Celebration of New Ministry. The purpose of this liturgy is to celebrate our new beginning together as priest and people.

It was a glorious day, very positive and upbeat. We had beautiful flowers and a very generous reception, and I think everyone enjoyed the day. Greg Rickel is a very affirming guy with a great sense of humor and a delightful southern drawl.

The bishop told us a secret. He said that every priest as his ordination is secretly handed a crystal ball when all the clergy gather to lay hands on him or her. This crystal ball allows the priest to know when anyone is in the hospital, when anyone is upset with him or her, and it also allows the priest's family not to mind of the priest is called away from home at inopportune times.

He said that unfortunately my crystal ball had been broken during the move, so everyone would now have to actually inform me when they are sick or in the hospital or when they are upset with me.

We had a symbolic exchange of gifts, and the bishop pointed out that it was significant that the gifts were not all given to me, but the gifts were mutually exchanged, as a way of showing that we are all doing ministry together, priest and people together. A good message for us all.
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High School football game

Last night I went to a high school football game to watch Chad Reeder play. Chad is a member of our church, a head acolyte, and a talented and graceful young man. He plays linebacker and tight end on the Klahowya High School team. I sat with his family while we cheered him and his team to victory. They won, 34-20!

A high school football game has tremendous youthful energy. I love feeling the excitement of the game, seeing the crowds of young people, watching the band and the cheerleaders, and standing up to yell when we make a touchdown.

High school football is an American ritual. It's a celebration of everything in our culture that is strong, powerful, and focused on winning. We love football because it's the epitome of our competitive urges. It's a good thing for young people to experience.
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Post Traumatic Stress Injury

My sketch of Dr. Jonathan Shay

Wednesday I went to Fort Lewis to hear Dr. Jonathan Shay, a psychiatrist, talk about post traumatic stress disorder. He said that combat environment is so stressful that soldiers block out everything except for hypervigilance toward danger. Later, when they return to civilian life, they're unable to stop being hypervigilant.

Dr. Shay dislikes calling it a "disorder", as if it were a disease or somehow implies the soldier was unfit. He emphasizes that post-traumatic stress is an injury, and should be treated just like we treat a shrapnel wound, as an honorable sacrifice.

He suggested three factors in reducing post traumatic stress: good unit cohesion, trustworthy leadership and good training. He suggested that the army keep soldiers together before, during and after combat because soldiers draw safety and trust from each others presence.

He said that trusted leaders make soldiers feel safer. When a leader does something to betray the unit or its values, tremendous damage is done. And good training to make the unit efficient is important.

Surprisingly, he also mentioned sleep deprivation as one of the greatest negative factors in post traumatic stress. He cited studies that show that good sleep is the one thing that does the most good.

His advice to chaplains: the most importance thing is to be present for soldiers. He mentioned Woody Allen's Law: "Showing up is 90% of the job."

Remembering 9/11

Seven years ago today we heard the news of the fall of the World Trade Center towers and the attacks on the Pentagon. That day changed our perception of the world, and continues to shape us.

We remember the feeling of terror and helplessness that sunk into our hearts
We remember being thrown into confusion and uncertainty.
We remember the air of unreality: "Our country is under attack."
We remember the shock of seeing our nation stopped completely for three long days.

For the workers in the towers who lost their lives in the flames, we continue to grieve.
We continue to honor the firefighters and the police officers who climbed the stairs to their deaths.
We admire the courageous passengers who fought their captors on the flight over Pennsylvania.
We grieve those who died in the Pentagon crash.

We remember the unity we felt as a nation: "We are one."
We remember the resolve we felt to do whatever was necessary to turn back evil.
We remember the flags that flew everywhere to give us hope.

We pray for those who died and for their families.
We pray for a world without terror and murder.
We pray for justice and peace for every person on earth.

From the Great Litany in the Book of Common Prayer, we pray:

That it may please thee to make wars to cease in all the world;
to give to all nations unity, peace, and concord; and to
bestow freedom upon all peoples,
We beseech thee to hear us, good Lord.

What forgiveness is not

From www.flickr.com

The Gospel lesson for Sunday is about forgiveness. Peter asks Jesus how many times he must forgive a person, "As many as seven times?" Jesus says, "I tell you, seventy seven times."

A book on forgiveness that has been very helpful for me is Forgive and Live by Una Kroll. She makes a number of helpful points, including these:

• Forgiveness is not automatic. We're not called to automatically forgive someone the hurt they've done us. It requires thought and intention.
• Forgiveness is not immediate. Regardless of how we might want to forgive immediately, it takes time to work through the process of forgiveness - even "seventy seven times."
• Forgiveness is not forgetting. Una Kroll's definition of forgiveness is "to offer a fresh start". This is helpful because it acknowledges the hurt but moves past it.
• Anger can be helpful in the process of forgiveness. When appropriately expressed, anger can be a means to justice and it can bring a cleansing of the soul.
• Reconciliation happens when both the offending person and the injured person offer forgiveness to the other. We can't always achieve reconciliation. All we can do is forgive.

Forgiveness is an enormous issue for many people, and practical, useful teaching on forgiveness is much needed. Una Kroll's book is very helpful.
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Forgiveness is re-framing

The Old Testament lesson for Sunday is the story of Joseph and his brothers in Genesis. The brothers sold Joseph into slavery after being convince not to kill him, and he suffered as a slave and in prison because of their treachery.

Years later, when Joseph became rich and powerful in Egypt, he had the opportunity to get back at his brothers who had to beg him for food during a famine. He could have punished them severely; but instead he chose to forgive them and to supply them with food and a place to live. In doing so, he saved their families from starvation, and preserved their posterity.

When he forgave them, Joseph said to his brothers, "Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people."

Joseph re-framed the picture by viewing it from a larger perspective. For Joseph, his suffering at the hands of his brothers was the means God used to save his people from starvation and continue the line of Abraham as God promised. Joseph was able to re-frame the situation.

When we need to forgive another person, it's often helpful for us to re-frame the picture. If we ask, "What is God trying to tell me in this situation", or, "What is God trying to accomplish in this problem," then we may find a new way of looking at our situation that allows us to forgive the one who hurt us.
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My blog routine

I didn't post to this blog last week. I don't know where the week went, but somehow I never found the time to post a reflection.

I have a regular morning routine that helps me write my blog entry, but when my routine is disturbed, I find it hard to compensate. Last week my mornings got away from me!

Here's my routine: I get up in the morning and do twenty minutes of centering prayer. This is a kind of contemplative prayer, letting all thoughts go while the mind rests in God. It's very centering, and when I leave it out, I feel like I haven't quite got the day started right.

Then I do Morning Prayer, using the Prayer Book and the lessons for the coming Sunday. I have a prayer bowl with prayers written on small squares of paper for my intercessions for each day.

Then I make coffee and write my blog. I find my mind is sharpest and most concentrated in the early morning, and I enjoy the focus on a short bit of writing.

If I don't write my blog in the early morning, I don't seem to find time for it later, and when I do, I find it difficult to focus my mind on the blog. So here's to early mornings, and a renewed commitment to post something each day!
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Hospital visit

Entrance to the UW Hospital

Today I visited one of my parishioners in the University of Washington Hospital in Seattle. He had surgery yesterday and today he's recovering nicely. He was patiently enduring the indignities of the hospital: IV lines, the ridiculous gown, circulation wraps on his legs, and nurses with their constant stream of pleasantly-phrased annoyances.

His wife was his constant companion -- she even slept in the hide-a-bed in the same room last night. I was impressed by her attentiveness to his needs. Whatever needed to be done, she was there to make sure it happened, whether it was something to drink, attention from a nurse, or phone calls to their family.

I said something about how much she was doing for him. She said, "It's a pleasure for me to do this."

I sensed a tremendous strength between the two of them. He was strong because she was there, and her inner strength and determination came from their common bond. They were truly going through this together.

It made me think of those words, "For better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish..." I think together they could go to the ends of the earth.
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Living with integrity

From www.flickr.com

In the Old Testament lesson for next Sunday, the Psalmist says to God, "I have lived with integrity." Integrity seems to be a theme that runs through the readings for next Sunday.

The prophet Jeremiah laments that he has spoken God's word to the people, but he's received only rejection and humiliation in return. In answer, God tells him, "If you utter what is precious, and not what is worthless, you shall serve as my mouth...for I am with you to save you and deliver you."

God's reply is to encourage Jeremiah to keep his integrity as a man of God and not give in to those who revile him.

In the reading from Romans, Paul writes, "Let love be genuine." There are myriad ways to offer false love or shallow love. But let love have integrity, he says.

In the Gospel, Peter pulls Jesus aside and rebukes him for even thinking about his own death on a cross. Jesus reacts sharply, replying, "Get behind me Satan!" Jesus cannot lose his integrity at this point, but he must be true to his calling from God.

Daily we are tempted to compromise our personal integrity. But the scriptures encourage us to be true to our calling from God.
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Youth ministry workshop

Last Saturday I went to a workshop on youth ministry at St. Columba in Kent (I made the above sketch of the church while I was there).

I thought it would be a "how-to" workshop, but instead the presenter asked us to consider the parish resources we have that can be utilized for youth ministry. In other words, he didn't suggest a "one size fits all" style of youth ministry, but he emphasized the need to tailor your youth ministry to your own youth and your own parish.

He asked us to think about what our parishioners are passionate about, and ask them to share that with the youth. It might be baseball, or sailboats, or something about their job. He also asked us to think about what our youth are passionate about, and then tap into that passion. Is it sports, computer games, beauty pageants, art?

He asked us to think how we would approach these areas of youth ministry:
INVITE
WELCOME
INCLUDE
AFFIRM
EQUIP
SEND FORTH

All in all it was a thought-provoking workshop, and gave me lots of ideas to offer to our youth ministry.