The post-Christmas crumple

I spent a good part of the day crumpled on the couch. Most clergy I know find the Christmas and Easter celebrations exhausting, and I'm no exception. The extra services, the desire to reach visitors and guests, the many details that are required for the planning, the extras we throw in at service, as well as heightened expectations by the congregation -- they all contribute to wearing a person out.

I'm glad I've been through the Christmas cycle at St. Antony's now. The first time through is somewhat difficult because everyone in the congregation knows "the script" and they take it for granted. The poor Vicar can easily stumble into major mistakes without even knowing it, because the Vicar doesn't know "the way we've always done it."

In addition to all this, the unusual amount of snow this year made for extra anxiety and concern for everyone, and really threw a wrinkle in our preparations.

So -- we made it through this year, and next year will surely be easier!
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A snowy Christmas at St. Antony's

It's been a snowy week in Silverdale, and our steep driveway and our parking lot have been snowed in several times. Fortunately, a strong force of shovelers came out on Christmas Eve day and shoveled our driveway and the parking lot drive. Many thanks to all who loaned us their strong backs!

The snow and ice kept a lot of people at home this year, but we still had a good turnout for both Christmas Eve services (43 at the 5:00 Eucharist and 41 at the 11:00 Eucharist) and a handful came on Christmas Day at 9:00 AM.

Christmas services are always special, and this year was no exception. Being surrounded by the snow and ice just made us more aware of our togetherness, and perhaps more aware of the difficulties Mary and Joseph faced on their journey to Bethlehem with no room in the inn.

We heard once again the beautiful Christmas story, and received the Christ child in our hearts once more.
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The Presiding Bishop preaches to troops

Last Sunday our Presiding Bishop, the Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori, visited Bolling Air Force Base in Washington, D.C., as part of a pastoral visit to American troops and Episcopal chaplains.

In her sermon, she compared Mary to a military person under orders. Here's an excerpt of her sermon about the Annunciation:

"This conversation between Gabriel and Mary is about sharing a vision, the kind of perspective a general might have. The strategy of a strategos, the general who climbs up the hill to survey the battlefield. Gabriel is offering a big picture and asking if Mary will cooperate....

Mary’s first response is, 'sorry, unable, the equipment’s not ready.' And Gabriel responds by saying, 'Doesn’t matter. Elizabeth thought the same thing. And she’s six months into this deployment.'

Mary’s next response is remarkable. She says, 'Here I am, ready to serve.' And then, what’s usually translated as “let it be with me according to your word” actually starts out the same way a command does, 'let it be done.' In Latin, it’s 'fiat.' She claims the authority offered her. She commands, in full cooperation with the one who has asked."

I'm glad our Presiding Bishop sees the importance of visiting our military personnel and I appreciate her willingness to speak the language of the military culture.

You can find the whole sermon here.
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The wonder of Christmas

The Annunciation

When our sons were little boys, we read the Christmas story to them from a book illustrated with colorful paper cuts (like the one above). The illustrations were so vivid and imaginative, it always led us to ask "wonder" questions. "I wonder if the donkey knew he was carrying Jesus"; or "I wonder what happened to the sheep when the shepherds went to Bethlehem". We got lost in wonder as we became immersed in the story.

Christmas is a season of wonder. The beautiful story of Jesus' birth has inspired authors, artists, and composers for millenia because the story in the Gospel of Luke evokes awe and mystery. Hearing about Mary's encounter with an angel (a wondrous figure), her mysterious and impossible conception, the journey to Bethlehem and the oddness of giving birth in a stable, the angelic message to simple shepherds and their awestruck visit to the manger -- all of it inspires awe and wonder.

In the King James Version of the Christmas story, it says that when the shepherds left the baby in the manger and told others about it, "All they that heard it were filled with wonder."

Wonder is the capacity to enter into awe and mystery. Wonder is what allows us to briefly cross the border into God's territory. Wonder is imagination's gift to us. Wonder is what opens the doors of the soul and gives us wings to fly.

The Christmas story tells us more about God than any other story in the Bible because it opens us to wonder. Thank God for the capacity to wonder and for the beautiful story of Jesus' birth that causes us to wonder.
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Prepare the way of the Lord

This morning Heidi Feenstra-Wilson and her husband Aaron cleared the driveway at church. With any luck, we'll have a clear drive for Christmas Eve services. Many thanks to Heidi and Aaron for their hard work clearing the snow!

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord

We woke up to 8 inches of snow on the ground this morning and roads that were nearly impassable, so I walked to church at 6:30 AM and shoveled the church driveway. It was serene and beautiful so early in the morning with the silent snow all around.

Peter and Mardi showed up for the 8:00 AM Eucharist, so the three of us celebrated the holy mysteries. At 10:00 AM, the Stockwell family showed up, so we celebrated Eucharist with five people.

It was quite striking to worship with so few people. For the sermon, we reflected on the beautiful story of the Annunciation (when the angel Gabriel announced to Mary that she was going to conceive and bear a son) and the Magnificat, when Mary overflows in praise and exaltation.

I remarked that when we first come to church, it's usually because "we have to." Our family expects us to come. Later, it becomes a habit that we fall into. But hopefully at some point, worship in church becomes more than duty or habit; it becomes a thing of joy and beauty.

The Magnificat is a thing of joy and beauty. Mary's cry of joy is pure worship, and it reminds us of the joy of worship. I felt that joy this morning. Sharing the beautiful story of the Annunciation lifted me out of our simple setting and set my heart soaring, and I felt the words of the Magnificat anew. "My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my savior."

I'm thankful I had friends to worship with.
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The greening of the church

Today we decorated the church with garlands of evergreens. During the week, piles of fir, cedar, holly, and pine were left by the church door, and today they were clipped into small sprigs and sewn together in long garlands. Our altar guild members are expert at this: they take a nylon rope and wire the sprigs of green onto the rope. The combination of different greens gives variety to the eye and makes the garlands very attractive. In addition, we have two large evergreen wreaths hanging behind the altar.

Let it be

The story of the annunciation is one of the most beautiful stories of the Gospel. Mary, a simple young peasant woman, is visited by the angel Gabriel. That in itself is a beautiful story: a young woman in the bud of life, full of promise and possibility, being visited by a messenger of God.

The messenger says, "Greetings, Mary. You will conceive in your womb through the power of the holy spirit and bear a child who will be holy, the Son of God, and you will name him Jesus, which means Savior."

And Mary says, "Let it be so." She fully accepts what the angel is saying. She opens her life to God and lets the Holy Spirit work within her. She is willing to let God grow within her and come to full expression in the form of a baby. How beautiful!

What would it be like if we could say, "Yes" to God like Mary? What would it be like to let God grow silently in our innermost being until we begin to burst with the joy and radiance of God?

Let it be. Let beauty be. Let others be. Let love and hope and faith be. Let whatever comes our way be. Without needing to change or judge or control, let everything be. Let the spirit of God flow through us so that we are a channel of divine love. Let the inevitable working of God's grace be. Let it be.

Mary's response to the angel is the response of contemplative prayer. When we pray in silence, we let our thoughts subside and our anxieties fall away. For a short time, we let it be. Then as we resume our daily lives, we find it easier to be agents of God, handmaidens of the Lord, channels of God's grace.

Let it be.
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O ye ice and snow, bless ye the Lord

Guy Fulton shovels the church drive

We have three inches of snow on the ground in Silverdale, making everything beautiful but also shutting down all our church meetings. We canceled Bible Study and the Bishop's Committee meeting today.

This morning my son Guy and I shoveled the driveway to the church. We got there before anyone had driven on the asphalt, so it was pretty easy to clean it off. We put salt on the driveway and left it clean and clear. Old Frontier Road is snow-packed, but the county has sanded it to make it a little less slick.

Let's hope the roads are drivable this Sunday morning when we have the Christmas Pageant.
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Singing the Laud to the Nativity

Last Saturday I sang with the Bremerton Symphony Chorale at our annual Christmas concert. We sang Laud to the Nativity by Ottorino Respighi (1879-1936), an Italian composer well-known for his orchestral tone poems.

We've been practicing this piece for three months, and I've found it to be a wonderful preparation for Christmas. The Laud is a magnificent choral composition set in the stable where Jesus was born. Three soloists sing the parts of the Angel, the Virgin Mary, and a Shepherd.

And this child, pure and holy, sent by the Father,
sent by the Lord against evil to do battle,
lies in stable lowly within a manger
'mid the sheep and the cattle
to shield the child from the breezes.
Mary so gently in linen has bound him;
his blanket, hay around him.
Thus art thou come down to earth, blessed Jesus.

Respighi composed this in 1900, but he wrote it in the style of a 17th-century choral composition, so the harmonies and the tones have a baroque feel. Respighi was a gifted writer of melodies, and the melodic lines in the Laud have a lovely flow to them. I especially enjoyed the opening duet between the oboe and bassoon.

The text of the Laud puts us in the stable with Mary and the shepherds. The shepherds know that they're "unclean", but they want to touch the baby Jesus. Mary lets them touch him, and they go back to their flocks in joy. What a beautiful story!

Before we went on stage, one of the members of the chorale reminded us that the words we were singing were essentially worship, and she encouraged us to sing like that. I appreciated her reminder.
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What a priest is called to be and do

I've been thinking about my ordination vows and what a priest is called to do and be. In the Ordination of a Priest, it says:

"Now you are called to work as a pastor, priest, and teacher, together with your bishop and fellow presbyters, and to take your share in the councils of the church. As a priest, it will be your task to proclaim by word and deed the Gospel of Jesus Christ and to fashion your life in accordance with its precepts. You are to love and serve the people among whom you work, caring alike for young and old, strong and weak, rich and poor..." (BCP, p. 531)

A pastor is a shepherd, caring for the people and for the community of the church.
A priest is one who celebrates baptism and eucharist, and pronounces absolution and blessing.
A teacher is one who shares the Gospel through words and by example.

Those are the main things that define the identity of a priest. Of course, parish clergy have many other tasks expected of them. Probably the ordination vows should add, "....and other duties as assigned"!
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Shepherd or Captain?

Yesterday I was told by two concerned parishioners that I need to be more vigilant that people do their jobs in the parish. "Things are falling through the cracks," they told me.

They compared the vicar to the captain of a ship. "On a ship everyone has a job, and it's the captain's responsibility that everyone does their job."

I always thought that the job of a priest was to be a shepherd. A shepherd cares for the flock and walks alongside them, guiding them to green pastures and fresh water.

I'm pondering the difference between these two images. Am I a shepherd or a captain?

Our parish has many military families, so it's only natural that we think using military images. We feel comfortable knowing that the captain is in charge of the ship.

A few questions I'm thinking about:
How do I need to adapt myself to this way of seeing the parish?
How I can I best use my gifts for ministry in this setting?
What is God calling us to do and be as a parish?
Is the vicar the captain of the parish?
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Hospital waiting room again

Today I spent the morning at the new Harrison Hospital building in Silverdale, waiting through surgery with the daughter and son-in-law of an elderly parishioner who had a cornea transplant and a new lens for his eye.

I prayed with Howard and his children before the surgery. The surgeon explained everything carefully and asked if there were questions. I was impressed with his patience and concern for this elderly man (92 years old). The anesthesiologist was also excellent. After the surgery, the surgeon came out and told us that everything went very well, and we went into the post-op room and said a prayer of thanksgiving.

This was my first time in the Silverdale campus of Harrison Hospital. The building is nearly brand new, and is filled with light and carefully coordinated colors. A beautiful facility.
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O Magnum Mysterium

As a part of my preparation for Christmas, I listened to this YouTube video of a performance of "O Magnum Mysterium", a chant composed by Giovanni Gabrieli in 1536 in Venice. The performance is ethereal and haunting. The blend of the voices and the admirable restraint in the soft portions lead to a tremendous buildup in sound about two thirds of the way through.

The words in English are:

O great mystery, and wonderful sacrament,

that animals should see the new-born Lord, lying in a manger!

Blessed is the Virgin whose womb was worthy to bear Christ the Lord.

Alleluia!

I was struck not only by the beauty of the performance, but by the fact that I, a white middle-class American Protestant, was able to listen to a choir from the Philippines singing medieval chants composed in a cathedral in Venice almost 500 years ago. Such a beautiful constellation of music, technology, culture, and spirit.

The wonder and mystery of the birth of Jesus in a humble stable is made present in this gorgeous music. What soul can listen to this and not be touched by the Spirit?
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Harrison Hospital waiting room

Harrison Hospital

Today I accompanied a parishioner to Harrison Hospital where she was to have knee replacement surgery. I met her and her son when they arrived, and we prayed in the waiting room before surgery. We prayed for the surgeons and anesthesiologists, the nurses and technicians, and the whole surgical team, and we asked that the surgery be successful and the recovery complete.

There's a lot of anxiety about surgery because we're allowing the surgeon to enter our body and remove something that is integral to us. It's good to have spiritual support when we're in surgery.

Her son and I spent the morning and part of the afternoon in the lobby, reading and chatting. I said silent prayers occasionally. After an hour and a half in surgery, the doctor came out and said everything went smoothly and the surgery was successful. Thanks be to God! Medical science is truly marvelous and this surgery will improve her quality of life immeasurably.

While we were waiting, I did a sketch of the hospital lobby (above) to pass the time.
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Vicar's Bible study

Today we're having our second session of the Vicar's Bible Study. This group meets every Thursday at noon to study the scriptures with the Vicar. Currently we're studying the story of Ruth.

Ruth's story is worth reading for its storytelling value. It's a story of two women who become widowed and bond with each other for survival. It encompasses grief and loss, the bonds of human affection, grit and pluck, the response of a righteous man, and a love story of sorts.

At our first session, we began to learn how we'll work together. I enjoyed it tremendously and I hope we'll continue with the same sense of inquiry, wonder, and exploration. I usually try to craft a series of questions that help us explore the text and go behind the text so we can relate it to our own lives today.

A good small group is a joy and a treasure. I think we've got a good one here, and I hope we'll build a strong sense of community among ourselves.
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The atmosphere of Advent

Advent is one of my favorite seasons of the church year because of the yearning feeling it offers. Advent feels incomplete. It has no fullness or completeness to it, but it looks forward to something that is coming.

I think the most predominant feeling I had as a teenager and young adult was a feeling of yearning. I felt like I was trapped in my constrained circumstances, but if I could just break free of them I could experience great and wonderful things. I yearned to experience the freedom I heard other people talking about.

This yearning was a powerful motivator for me. I traveled and did a lot of things I wouldn't have otherwise. Yearning for something that's not yet here motivates us to seek new things. Yearning is a lean, hungry feeling, a sense of not-yet-but-very-close, a desire for something more.

That's the feel of Advent for me. We're waiting for the birth of Christ, and we yearn for it. We're waiting for the second coming of Christ, and we yearn for it. We want more of God and we yearn for God.

Many of the Advent hymns say, "Come," as a way of expressing this yearning: "Savior of the nations, come!"; "O come, O come, Emmanuel"; "Lo, he comes"; "Come, thou long-expected Jesus."

Yearning for God means to wait with hope and longing. That's the feel of Advent for me.
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Burnout and recovery

From flickr.com

Last week I preached five sermons in eight days. I delivered two normal Sunday sermons, plus two memorial service sermons, plus the sermon at the Thanksgiving Eve community service.

The preparation for the sermons and worship, plus the normal press of duties has left me pretty drained. I was pretty anxious about the community service because I knew it would be a lot of people, and I would be preaching in a setting unfamiliar to me.

In addition, memorial service sermons are somewhat difficult to deliver because I'm usually preaching about a person I didn't know well to a family who is grieving. I want to offer something that honors the life of the person who died; I want to say something that's honest about the person's life; and I want to remind us of the resurrection of Jesus.

So after such a slew of preaching, I'm ready for a week without any special sermons. Next Sunday Bishop Nedi will preach at the 10:00 Eucharist when she visits St. Antony's, so my duties are lightened.

So this week I'm looking forward to a little relief from the pressure of preaching and a little more attention to some of the usual parish details.
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